The french paradox : why aren’t the french fat ?

This is a question which has puzzled me for quite sometime, how can a nation of cheese eating grease-lovers who devour duck legs cooked in their own fat at regular intervals NOT be a race of absolute heffalumps? Why are the fairly plain tasted English cursed by obesity – we may like our chain restaurants but by heaven, we’re not America!

One answer to this conundrum could be that all French women wear black masking their enormous wobbly thighs from the human eye and undulating tummies from years of munching fois gras. To be honest this theory is ridiculous, they’re just NOT fat…why??

Lets look at  fois gras. French people love it, hell, I love it. It’s a delicacy, and what does it mean “Greasy Liver”. Nuff said. The French word “Gourmande” describes a number of different things, Something luxurious, something eaten to the excess, someone who loves food and eats a lot, something rich in butter or cream. What it doesn’t mean is “greedy”, its not pejorative its charming, as in “awww look at Cat polishing off her 7^th chocolate éclair, she’s so gourmande, awwwww”.

This kind of behavior is welcomed in France, That’s why they like me here! Never before have I indulged so much as I have in France, eating in restaurants where they bring you course after course… amuse bouche, starter, fish, meat, amuse bouche cheese dessert, petits fours, chocolates, vomit, nap.

So I’m sat on a crowded metro at the moment and I can see only one person who could even be considered as festively plump. This is crazy!

Do the English government inject evil fat growing cells individually into crumpets? The answer is no, almost definitely not.

My theory is so…

1.       French people don’t snack. Remember that pack o f chocolate caramel digestives you’ve got hidden under your desk and you only said you were gonna have one and then the whole packet was gone and you’re a Heffalump? Yes they eat pastries for breakfast, but they’re also a lot more controlled and rigid in their mealtimes!

2.       They eat a big lunch. Appauled by our culture of a quick sandwich at the desk. Many French people have a 2 hour lunch break where they have a proper meal. They digest it throughout the afternoon and dinner is a far more casual affair.

3.       The French tend to eat an abundance of fresh ingredients, vegetables and a good balance of all food groups, they tend to steer away from ready meals as well.

I’m not dissing England, we know hoz to cook and eat well. But you can’t deny our habits are different. First time I ate a big lunch at 12 midday complete with aperitifs and mountain of cheese, I was sick in my boyfriend’s brother’s waste paper basket. Certainly made an impression on the family.

But now I’m used to it and am I starting to ressemble a large elephant like creature with bingo wings? No, I’m pretty much the same as I’ve always been.

But I still don’t get it, so people here’s a great diet plan to rival that of Butterfields (chocolate quails eggs, fluffy ruffs, garlic pudding) come to france, eat til you pass out and never get fat. hmmmm To me this doesn’t seem plausible.

I think I’ll have to think it our again!